Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Happy 12th Birthday Mama's Sweet Sweet Boy

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     I sit here finding it so hard to believe that 12 years have passed since you entered our world, who knew that our lives would change so dramatically that fateful afternoon. You were an easy delivery, the easiest out of the bunch, the only one that ever got to room in and did not spend a second in special care or NICU, but yet you have had so many problems over the 12 years of your amazing life so far. You were always so curious as a little boy, taking many things apart to try and figure out how they worked, many times we could not put them back together. It was sometimes hard to not lose my patience with you, there was little sleep going on in our house and that did not help matters. Then when you were 3 yrs old we inquired with the doctor that you were just "different" than your older brother, he referred us to a Psychologist who said you had, Sensory Integration Dysfunction and something else that she could not quite put her finger on, so she then sent us to her associate the Psychiatrist who after only a short time said he agreed, but added Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD, and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but that he was referring us to a Neurologist because there was something else he just could not quite figure out, Gee where had we heard that before. So off to the Neuro we went and he gave us the most devastating news I thought I would ever here, You indeed had all those problems that the other Drs. said you did but they were symptoms of something called Autism.
    I was stunned, and confused and worried for you all at once and I also felt along with your Dad very alone in the world, because you see back then we knew not a sole with these issues. We did not know where to turn and in that instant the Internet which we had just gotten to start researching all of these labels they were attaching to you, became my very best friend. I got in touch with the Autism Societies, and support groups and it made all the difference in the world, I was no longer alone in this journey there were others going through the very same thing.
   Over the next few years we would join many groups, enroll you in Special Ed, and take you to many extensive therapy sessions, including Sensory Therapy 5 mornings a week for many months, to help you learn to regulate your senses and try to fit in this chaotic world that did not sit well with you. This helped tremendously, I remember being so proud when you learned to use silverware at almost 5 yrs old. Those were huge accomplishments back then and we cherished every single one. We always Celebrated the smallest of feats. One of those being shortly before your 10th Birthday which was just 2 short years ago, I will never forget you learned to tie your very own shoes that day, I remember sobbing tears of Joy for what seemed like days. I thought back then that you may never master that small thing most people take for granted. Little did we know that the very next school year you would achieve all A's, receive a Presidential Scholar Award from the President of the Unites States and Be on the front page of the Area Newspaper for all of your recent accomplishments. You continue to awe me on a daily basis, I cannot wait to see what you do with your gifts God has handed you.  We have learned over the years not to take your accomplishments for granted, you never know when we will have another uphill battle. You have proven to us time and time again that there are so many things worth fighting for and some that simply do not matter, School used to be one of those fights and then you had one amazing year in 5th grade and we thought our struggles were over, but then 6th grade came and your world once again came crashing down, and this time instead of fighting we took a stand and followed our hearts and listened to God's wisdom and pulled you and your brother out of the public school system that plagued you so, and started our home schooling journey, it has not been completely flawless, this too has been a learning experience but I am so blessed to be able to follow you on this wonderful path, to be able to see all of your accomplishments and offer you guidance when you stumble.
  We have grown so close over these last 6 months and I Thank God everyday that he guided me in this direction, we are able to practice our Faith more and more, and I am so thankful for that freedom. There is so much less stress, and fighting amongst you and Tay, it has made you closer which I love to see. I enjoy learning with you and exploring with you and taking it easy with you. We have accomplished so much even when People or Things put obstacles in our way, We will never let anything or anyone stop you from making everything you can of yourself and Life. I hope and pray that you continue your journey in the arms of the Lord, making God the center of your world. I know you will do Great things with your life as you are so sensitive and caring and so eager to please others. You are such a talented student and chef, I see you running your very own restaurant one day. I will come and work for you LOL. I sit here writing this, reliving all of your pains and triumphs and my heart hurts for you and Soars for you Simultaneously, you are the gift from God that has humbled me over the last 12 years. I know he chose me to be your Mom for a reason and there have certainly been days when I doubted my Faith, but I am boundlessly blessed to call you my SON.
   It saddens me to know you are not here today to Celebrate your life with your family but I am comforted knowing you are with your brothers deepening your spiritual being, and walking with our Lord on your week long camping trip with the Youth Group from Church, I think that is the greatest Birthday Gift we could have given you, was the opportunity to GROW YOUR FAITH this week, and open your heart even further to GOD.
I love you My Sweet Sweet Boy, Happy 12th Birthday to you. I cannot wait to see what this next year holds for you and our family, as we continue on this journey called Chaos and Life.
Love, Mama

Here is a photo tribute to all the aspects of who you were, are and yet to become
                                                     A total cuddle Bug  2 days old
An adventurous eater  1 yr old

A boy on the go 16 mths

A total dirt magnet age 4
A great Student 11 yrs old
A total animal lover
11 yrs old

Inquisitive and Intellectual  12 yrs old

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